Are you one of the many people who finds themselves tongue-tied or nervous at those annual holiday gatherings with relatives or co-workers? If so, Dr. Martin Anthony, a leading expert on social anxiety and shyness, has some helpful tips on how to put your fears to rest and enjoy the holiday season to the fullest:
• Start off by showing that you are approachable and open to conversation by smiling and making eye contact with others.
• Look for ongoing group conversations – try to join one about a topic that interests you or one that you can tell a funny personal anecdote about.
• Ask questions. These kinds of gatherings provide a chance to catch up with co-workers, friends or relatives and to share some of your own experiences with them.
• Be an active listener. Pay attention to what the other person is saying and reflect back that you understand. Then you can relate to them more effectively and keep the conversation rolling.
• Don’t automatically believe your anxious thoughts and predictions as true. Do your best to think realistically and examine what actual evidence you have for basing your negative predictions on. It is likely that most people won’t even notice your anxiety.
• Do not avoid fearful situations. Your anxiety will not improve by doing this. Push yourself; being shy can make it difficult to talk to others at first, but the more you do it, the less difficult it will become.
• Don’t try to fight your anxiety at parties; this can make things worse. Accept your feelings, but move forward.
• At office parties, be sure to shake hands with your boss, senior managers and whoever the party organizer is and also to wish them a happily holiday season. And when you leave, be sure to say goodnight and thank them as well.
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